The Spit Balls
By Daniel J Towsey
This is a story you might find interesting about my grade nine rebellion
against a totally tyrannical evil and over bearing female teacher.
We the students dreaded going to her class.
Every time we entered this class we were completely terrorized by
this over bearing teacher that was on her power trip of control.
Individual intellectual expressions of personality was not allowed.
Talking and smiling was not allowed. Being happy was stopped
And most definitely we were never permitted to ask the teacher
from naziland any questions about anything.
She the teacher took this as a threat to her control and authority.
She would scream at anyone and everyone.
If you dared to ask any question you would be terrorized by her
overbearing screams and would be made to feel tiny and inferior.
I would sit there and watch this teacher tear apart the young
peoples spirit of reasoning and understanding.
Many of the young people really wanted to expand their
But the nazi teacher would never allow this.
Finally after having been a victim of this nazis, tirades I
I had a plan. I studied this nazis psyche and constructed
my conspiratorial plan.
I united the whole class in our conspiracy to destroy this
tyrant once and for all.
I told the students about my plan. The students were really
exited at the idea of getting even.
I told all the students to tell all the other students to be sure
to come to class with a cheap tube type of bic pen.
Then one day I asked all the students to get to class ten
I knew that this teacher never arrived in the classroom before
The students all arrived early. They had an excited look of
glee on their faces.
The excitement was in the air.
I stood at the front of the class and told the students my plan.
First I instructed them all to take the guts out of their bic
pens so they would have a hollow straw like tube.
Then I told all the students to start ripping up little pieces
of paper and to quickly make a little pile of spit balls.
I made sure that all the students had these spit balls out of sight.
As all the students in the class were busy chewing (it was
quite a funny site indeed to watch everyone busily chewing
away), I described my plan.
I told all the students that just as the teacher would turn
around and start writing on the chalk board.
We were all to at the very same time to shoot out spit balls
at the back of her head and stop shooting just as she started
to turn her head and then immediately put our hands
under our desks with our spit guns.
Then everyone was not to smile or react and to do nothing
but just stare at the teacher as if nothing had happened.
After this moment the teacher just about lost her mind.
Oh it was so hard for all of us not to break out in laughter.
But I made sure that I had instructed all the students not
The teacher was just steaming. She turns to face the class
and she could not get her composure.
For the first time ever we witnessed
that the nazi teacher was really lost as what to do.
This was an amazing triumph for the class
She could not as her usual, isolate any individual to
belittle and terrorize.
The teacher tries to keep her composure. She quickly turns
back to the chalk board to save face.
Again it was amazing that the class did not break out in
laughter as the teacher with her mechanical behavior
reaches up to write on the board.
The chalk board was filled with spit balls stuck
everywhere on the board.
I can not help myself. I am sitting here at my keyboard
just laughing my head off as I write this.
Ok here goes..Oh I am trying so hard to stop laughing
and write these words down.
The teacher starts wiping spit balls out of the way so
she could write.
But just as I instructed the class they immediately
again fired their spit balls at the back of the teachers head.
This time the students had been able to have much better
accuracy and oh my gosh..
The teacher got pelted with at least a hundred spit balls.
The teacher had begun to lose her mind.
She really hesitated to turn around.
I think she realized that if she turned to fast she would
of had a face full of spit balls.
Oh it hurts so much to write this I am keeling over
with laughter as I write this.
Ok here goes again.
The teacher again turns around and just stares at
All the students were just sitting there doing
nothing and just watching the teacher.
The teacher was speechless.
I could not believe it.
The teacher turns around again and tries to write
on the board.
This time she never even had the chance to lift her arm
before being pelted with hundreds more spit balls.
The teacher starts screaming. She looses her mind.
She frantically starts trying to swipe off all the
hundreds of spit balls stuck in her huge head of hair.
She looks down at the floor full of spit balls.
She screams and screams like she is being attacked
by killer bees.
She runs out into and down the long hall screaming
All that could be heard was the echoes of her screams
bouncing off the walls.
We could here her running down the half mile long
hallway screaming and
all the way down.
By then all the other teachers had heard the screams
and had opened their classroom doors to see what was
But then, oh was our laughter so loud. Our class just
could not stop their hysterical laughter.
We were all laughing so loud that the whole school
could hear us.
Especially since all the other teachers had their
We never again saw the nazi.
Then their was a peaceful silence.
We the students had won our war against this nazi tyrant.
I silently became the folk hero of the school.
Then after for the rest of the year in this school of
over five thousand students.
I was the silent student leader.
Students from many different classes would from
time to time tell me about the difficulties they were
having with some of their teachers.
I quietly offered suggestions.
The students had rebelled against tyranny and
the school had no choice but to start treating the
students with more dignity and respect.
I was them a folk hero to all my fellow students.
But I never sought glory or recognition.
I only wanted for me and the rest of us to be treated
It worked but the school board conspired against
me and engaged in absolute terror against me.
That will be another story I will write another
day about the day of my final exams.
Stay tuned for the next story..
RIGHT CLICK SAVE AS
POEMS – Adventures – True Stories