My father that was not my father

My father that was not my father

Another autobiographical The Snowball Effect chapter

written by Daniel J Towsey

(A Truth Soldier)

November 22nd 2012

Warning this will be a horrific read for sensitive people.

My brother Robert has disappeared. I believe he knew he was going to disappear and that this would be his last words to me. Robert was my only brother that ever tried to be close to me. But as you will read, you will understand that my childhood and all the hate he saw inflicted on me, made it very hard for him to see or know who I truly was.

He moved back to Toronto in about 2003.

We spoke a few times by telephone, I have not spoken with him for many years.

His last conversation with me was a very enlightening revelation of why my whole childhood was so horrific.

A side note here. Please realize I have a one year older brother Paul, then Robert was six years younger and Patrick being five years younger. Paul and Patrick were convinced by my father that was not, to move to Australia many years ago and have never kept in touch with me.

After I write this, you will know why I did not grow up with them.

I now live alone in Halifax Nova Scotia. I had been going to Saint Mary’s Basilica on Spring Garden Rd. for their soup kitchen food. While arriving in my electric wheelchair. I have never had a hate for the church but they clearly revealed to me recently their continued hate for me. The head nurse that was in charge of the soup kitchen seems to be the same person that molested (and then put me in the hospital for more then six months) me when I was a child in Montreal. She may not have been aware of who I was.

But somebody in the upper levels of the church did and they have now banned me for life from going to the church.

It is probably best that I do not go into a church that only celebrates the death of Jesus and not the life of Jesus.

I have written previous chapters about my childhood and the Catholic Childrens Aid of Montreal horrific abuses I witnessed and suffered. (1957-)

What Robert revealed to me, has now given me the understanding as to why my father was so evil to me and why the Catholic church has continuously abused me and tried to kill me since I was born.

Another revelation that I have recently come to understand and that I have not yet written about, is that my mother was a native child that grew up in the Indian residential schools orphanages. I to lived at one of these horrific schools.

So I will now write some of my history that has been made so clear to me now by Robert and then I will tell you what my Brother Robert told me. It will be a shocking series of revelations of truth.

This story is now going to be another chapter in my yet uncompleted “Snowball Effect Autobiography that I started writing in year 2000.

Now I understand why my father once took me out in his antique Chris-Craft cabin cruiser boat and headed out into lake Erie with a huge storm coming. Why he steered his boat like a mad man straight into the huge waves coming in with the storm.

I knew something was wrong when all the other boaters were in a panic to get to shelter. The other boaters were going to shore and I will never forget when I heard and saw the mans face as he screamed the warnings to my father. The look of horror on the mans face when he looked at my fathers evil face. The boater was looking into the face of a murderer on a mission. That look on the boaters face is etched into my mind and it was the warning I needed that something bad was in the works.

The boater went from looking at the face of a mad man and then looked back at the tiny child standing near the edge of the back of the boat.

All my life I knew what my father was about and what he had already done to me. So I did not trust him.

He then put his boat into full throttle and continued head long into the huge waves. This Christ-Craft boat was very heavy and sat low in the water. It had a huge car engine under my feet under the flat empty deck.

I was very young and tiny.

He told me to stay out on the back deck. I knew the danger I was in, but I did not panic as the back of the boat was so low in the water that the water was only inches from swamping over the back deck. as I kept my eyes on my father and stood there concentrating on keeping my balance. It was impossible now for me to attempt to move. The front of the boat was much higher up then the back. The back deck was now soaked. I also realized at the time that if I did not lose my balance or lift my feet from that spot that my soles would stay dry under my feet. So I did not move as I looked into the eyes of a killer every time he turned around to see if he could get me to fall overboard. Which was his plan.

He had removed all the safety metal railings that would of went around the edge to keep people from falling over board.

The only good thing I could see was that he could not take his hands off the steering wheel has that would of surely sank the boat. I then realized that if I kept my balance he could not come near me.

This horror went on for at least an hour and a half until he made it to the center of the lake where he then turned around and started racing in with the waves. On the way back in, he tried to swamp the back end so that the water would wash me overboard. I think by then he surely became scared and terrified of my strong spirit.

He again failed at killing me. When we got back to shore the many other boaters who witnessed my fathers actions were truly horrified. They were looking back at me with a knowing look as to what this mad man was up to. I could see that the people there knew something was really bad about this man that I thought was my father.

I just gave you the reader, a small glimpse of this man who was not my father to help you understand better what my brother Robert revealed to me that I am soon going to tell you.

I just wanted you to see the evil I have seen. I have previously written other chapters about my fake father for you to understand better. One of the important reasons why I am writing this “Snowball Effect” autobiographical book is for closure and for me to find peace of mind in just understanding.

God of the positive spirit is truly the reason why I am alive….

I so often wondered why was it that the Catholic Childrens Aid, that was entrusted in protecting children, would hand over my mother a beautiful innocent blonde haired child of about ten or eleven years old to my father a man of about twenty two and six feet six inches tall. It was such a miss match. My mother never grew taller then five foot two. So my father always appeared to be with a child as his mate.

He used my mother and I feel that he was raping her body, mind and soul all through here teen years. My mother a child was having one child after another every year. Some supposedly died at birth. Two I believe that would of been between me and Patrick, a four year gap.

Recently an infiltrator of the Catholic Church told me that my mother was actually sold by the orphanage to my father for one hundred dollars.

My brother Robert revealed to me that who I was made to believe was my father, was not my father. He also made it very clear that everyone of my relatives always knew what I am about to tell you. But I never knew.

I have to say. My relatives were so horrible. To the exception of my mother who was herself a child victim that was forced into silence.

My brother told me that when he went to visit my fathers younger brother Michael who lived in the Eastern Townships of Quebec on a farm near Tingwick. That Michael had put his young blonde haired new wife on his lap and was trying to fondle her.

This event terrorized Robert and eventually led to the disappearance of him and possibly his wife Meg.

Robert was terrorized because he was envisioning the story that he told me that I am revealing to you now.

That event was the reason why Robert revealed to me this horrific family secret I am about to reveal to you.

He told me that Michael had done the very same thing to my mother when she was very young. He had sex with her and that is how I was born.

So my father had a huge hate for me being what the church called a Bastard child.

So my Father showed me nothing but hatred and contempt. That hatred almost got me killed many times and wreaked havoc with my mind. Remember all through my life, I never knew what everyone else in my family knew.

So now I know why I was left to be alone and lived through horrific abuses at the hands of the Catholic church. My mother never stopped loving me but was not able to show her love to me. She after all was under the control of the Catholic church and their brainwashing. The Church and its words in the Bible only taught hatred for children born out of wedlock.

The bastard child.

All through my childhood I had an attraction for Michael my real father. I tried to visit him. When ever I visited him we had a great bond. But unknown to me. I could never understand why he kept breaking the bond everytime it developed. I could not understand why his wife and two children (my cousins) kept also showing me hate when ever I showed affection to Michael.

Now I understand why the first time I stood in my life in my crib holding onto the railing and screaming for love and attention. My father walked in and punched me at my right eye so hard, I went crashing through the opposite railing behind me.

I then remember the shaking that woke me as I looked up at my mothers face as she was frantically running with me in her arms to go the Catholic St.Josephs hospital where I was born only a few months earlier.

Now I understand why my military father was protected by the Catholic church that ran that hospital.

Now I understand.

Now I understand everything.

Shame on you all, my fake family.

The only thing that was not fake was your evil heartlessness… You never once respected me as a human being.

I survived all this evil because I kept my promise to God I made when I was four years old.

God is real and has nothing to do with religions, just like my brother Jesus told you.

The love of my angel mother I will always remember.

Another yet unpublished chapter is the murder of my mother that only Robert and I know about. She was given some Genetically created illness that would only affect her. Then as usual the government hospitals used the catch all phrase for a non existent illness we are being told is called cancer.

Cancer is only a dietary deficiency..

The hospital in Montreal where my mother died told me that my mother was killed by a genetically created illness that was tailor made with samples of her DNA. So that it would only attack her and no one else. Then it was covered up by saying she died of cancer.

Cancer is man made to depopulate the world. Yes go do some real research. You will learn that the cure for what they call cancer has always been known. Check out vitamin B-17 for starters.

My mother like I always believed in the Love of the real and positive spirit of the Good and loving God…

My mother’s last words to me were.

“Always call on my spirit and I will always be there for you after I die.”

Mike's Clan 1983 xmas

Mom's Clan 1983 xmas

mom1982

TowseyMalesXmas1983ottawa

This is the follow up chapter to this post.

https://danieljtowseyautobiographies.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/uncle-mike-i-know-you-are-my-father/

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