Uncle Mike I know you are my father.
Autobiographical article by Daniel J Towsey.
This is just yet another chapter in my ‘The Snowball Effect’ Autobiographical book.
March 28 2013
I do not know if you read my earlier article entitled. “My father that was not my father”
I long ago, when I was very young and visited you on your wonderful farm homestead in Tingwick Quebec knew that you had a fatherly love for me.
I so often saw it in your eyes, but I could not understand.
All my life until recently I did not understand, nor did I know why it was that your wife I knew as Aunt Rae always showed me such a hidden dislike.
Your son Michael and daughter Suzanne did the same thing.
Their contempt for me was so horrible, add to that all the horrific abuses the man I knew as my father, Arthur Paul Towsey inflicted on me. It made my life a living nightmare.
The only time I ever saw love in some ones eyes for me as a child was when we spent that afternoon tinkering with the old hardware in that old dusty loft.
But when my brother Robert recently told me about your brief encounter with my mother and I being your off spring.
It cleared everything up for me.
I only wonder why would it be that not one person in our families could be truthful and show me some respect and dignity.
By acknowledging who I am.
I know you wanted to have the opportunity to show me your love.
You and I only once ever spent time bonding together that afternoon in your old loft work shop.
I got to know then the wonderful human being that you are.
I can not, and do not have any hate for you.
I understand the times you grew up in where the Catholic church was so prominent in your society.
I also realize that the society of then only saw me as a bastard.
But I do know you, and I do know my mother.
I do understand that I was born out of young love.
I know that mom and you shared a love that was forbidden.
Mom was a very beautiful innocent soul. I know that you were the same as her in your youth.
I can only wonder the beautiful life we could of all had if it had been possible for you to be with my mother..
I can never regret being born out of love and not lust.
I know how moms face looked every time your name came up.
She never, ever had a bad though about you.
The only problem was that she kept it a secret from me all the way to her grave.
That I truly regret.
I can only hope that you too will not do the same.
I am forwarding this letter to my daughter Melanie. She will be able to get it to you.
Also please know that my whole history is publicly published at this blog.
Written with my love…..